Category: Uncategorized

Birds, Beasts & Us

I was stopped at a red light this morning, staring blankly at the lush green tree tops that seemed bare only weeks ago, when a flock of birds rose up from within them taking flight. They moved in unison, dark forms against a bright blue sky and it made me wonder if perhaps we humans are actually the lesser species…

When Relationships Change

I have spent countless hours having one-sided imaginary conversations with a former best friend, idly trying to express the sorrow I feel for our relationship changing. They happen while I fold laundry, walk the dogs, wash dishes, or shower. And every time I have the conversation it ends with no conclusion, because she is not there in the conversation with…

Mastering The Pivot

I am a planner by nature. I like to know what’s ahead, I like to be prepared, and I like to be able to think through the many possibilities so nothing surprises me. Oddly, this doesn’t make me rigid with my time or incapable of going with the flow. It actually helps me be more relaxed and easygoing. I don’t…

On My Own, Sort Of

Being on your own after a relationship can feel somewhat foreign, like  you’ve been ejected form a plane, landing with a thud in a place you once knew. In the time you were off in your relationship, everything changed from how you remembered it. It’s the same, but different. And post relationship life can also feel liberating, sad, glorious, and gut wrenching, sometimes…

Finding That Girl

In one of my many imaginary conversations with a person I care deeply for, usually held while doing dishes, folding laundry, mopping or showering, I caught myself saying “I don’t want to be that girl. I want to be that girl. The one who is smart enough, pretty enough, worthy enough. The one who has someone who sees her the…

Spot

I was 25 when I first met Spot. The squatters on East 9th Street and Avenue D called him Magic. They called him this because he chewed all the wires in the abandoned building they lived in but never got electrocuted. I wondered if their building had electricity. They said he was 8 weeks old. He had 3 sisters they managed…

Guns: Our Kids, Our Silence

My son is 7 years old. He is bright, funny, eager to please and kind. He loves baseball and basketball, performing with his sister in show choir, playing catch with is cousin Tommy and Beanie Boos with his cousin Maggie. He sings his heart out doing karaoke. He likes to run around outside with the Nerf guns passed down by a…

Memorial Day

My father is a tall man with a lean build. He has dark brown hair and matching brown eyes. His skin is always tan during the summer. He taught my three sisters and I how to play basketball and surf. He took us to the beach during the winter and got us hot chocolate with marshmallows. He would go for…

Dreaming As Angels

When I was a child we would say a prayer before bed. “Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I die before I wake. I pray the Lord my soul to take.” As is typical with me, I thought soul was salt. And for some reason I did not question it.…

Life’s Soundtrack

We had a hunter green rug in the living room of the house I grew up in. I would find a sunny spot during the winter and lay there soaking up the warm rays while listening to the radio. I heard stories of a girl with a horse named Wild Fire who ran away during a storm, a little boy…